To my dear
cousin,
WHO?
Was it the
internet? Was it the television? Was it a magazine? Was it twitter, facebook, Instagram,
etc.? Was it her friends? Was it you? Who told my sweet, beautiful, vibrant, 12
year old cousin that this is what should define
her?
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My first
thought was “Does she believe this? Does she really believe that how many likes
this post gets will determine how many people want or will want to date her in
the future?” Well let me answer that: NO. I’m
going to take a wild guess and assume that the average age of those who follow
my cousin on Instagram are 11, 12, and 13 (The fact that she has an Instagram is
still mind-blowing). Do kids at this age think about being in a relationship?
Is it even possible for a seventh grader to understand the concept of being in
a relationship? Does she know that in six years she will probably never see
these people again? To this day I can count the amount of people I still see
and talk to from middle school on one hand. And I for one am glad! In seventh
grade I was 75 pounds and not even five feet tall. I didn’t wear makeup. I didn’t
even own makeup. I brushed my hair before I went to school. I tried to dress
cute. I had freckles and dimples! I didn’t quite know who I was. I had a few
close friends but I wasn’t part of any clique and I didn’t have my own posse. My
pre-teen years weren’t bad, but boy I am glad I grew up! My best friends in
middle school were my best friends all through high school! They were uplifting,
motivating, and inspiring! Three of them are serving LDS missions, one just
received her mission call, and another is attending a university just like me! But I know where my sweet cousin is coming
from. I wanted someone to share the “Cutest Couple” photo in the yearbook. I
wanted someone to bring me a stuffed bear to school for Valentine’s day. I was
envious of those people because they had something I didn’t. Did I really want a
boyfriend at that time? Probably not. I wanted the satisfaction from knowing
that someone wanted me. Luckily for me, there was no “Instagram.” I couldn’t
hopelessly post this picture and pray that at least ONE person “liked” it. What
happens if no one likes this post? Will it ruin her day? Will it ruin her week?
Will whether or not someone likes this determine how many people still want to
be her friend? Absolutely not. And I hope she sees it. I hope she sees the
potential she holds, the beauty that radiates from her, and the joy she is in
the lives of her family in friends. The point is that someone will want her. I
don’t know when or how. She might not meet that person until high school. She
may not even meet them until college. WHO are they? I don’t know that either.
But what I do know is that she will meet that person. In the mean time I want
her to be confident. I don’t want fear to drive her. I don’t want “likes” to
determine the way she feels about herself. I want her to see how beautiful and
smart she is (men like smart women, right? ;)) She is a joy! She lights up the
room when she walks in! She is caring and loving! She is a sister, a daughter,
a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, and a friend! The value she holds is
tremendous! Imagine if she saw these characteristics of hers every day! Would
she have still posted this picture? I’m hoping not. She would know the worth of
herself the way I know the worth of her. So my sweet cousin, remember that the
unhappiest people in this world are those who care about what other people
think. You are far too beautiful and smart to be standing in your own way.
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